rustingtobreathe:

seriouslycarolina:

mastodonstorm:

airport:

I wasted too much time making this to only get 9 notes.

That happens sometimes.

THIS DESERVES SO MANY NOTES

….isn’t this what tumblr did for april fools last year?!

Is it? I hope not.

(via phraseslikeknives)

myeviltwin:

Last night, I made a joke about masturbation.

Several of you missed the joke, though. A small portion of you assumed the message was from some random girl and that I replied with giddy anticipation. A few of you came to me with your concerns and spoke of your jealousy. A couple of you even posted about the feelings this evoked.

And all of that is so much funnier than the original joke.

Well don’t keep us waiting! How was it?!

topherchris:

I was told I had to Reblog this or face severe consequences.

I would like to unsubscribe from your newsletter.

(Source: rat-bastard)

THIS IS ME FLYING AN AIRPLANE

(Source: airport)

hahahanoway:

outofallthestorybooks:

New Born Polar Bear (by emptysound)

 HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE OVER MORE NOTES!?

BECAUSE IT’S NOT REAL.

myeviltwin:

It’s somewhat disconcerting to go to sleep clothed and wake up fully naked.

And even more-so to go to bed naked and wake up fully clothed.

90s kids - Quit stealing MY culture.

mastodonstorm:

californiacornbread:

I think the time has come for me to sound off on all you children here on Tumblr, stealing MY culture. If you were born in the early 80s, or mid 80s, you know what I’m talking about.

Let’s get some shit really fucking straight - most of you here on Tumblr were born in the 90s, and don’t know a damn thing about half the stuff you’re reblogging, posting and stealing from other people. You’re just hitting the re-blog button and typing, “OMG!”

OH EM GEE what motherfucker? Like you know shit about what you’re talking about? Because you don’t. If you were born in the early to mid 90s, you were too young to remember anything of consequence that happened. I know this, because I can do fucking math.

A few of your biggest offenses…

• What the fuck do you know about Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis? Both were released in 1991. If you’re 14, 15, 16, or 17 - you weren’t even fucking alive when it came out. If you’re 18-21, you were too young to really appreciate the improvement it meant over the original Nintendo.
• On that note, most of you were too young to really appreciate the original Playstation OR N64. The Playstation came out in 1995, and the N64 came out in 1996 (late ‘96 at that). So even if you were born in the early 90s, you wouldn’t have been old enough to really understand it. By the time you were old enough, it was 2000, and the Playstation 2 was out.
• The Yak-Bak. I’ve seen numerous references to it lately. Look 90s kids - it was a shitty recorder. Us 80s kids know. But it was OUR shitty recorder. Quit trying to steal our fucking toys.
• Babe, Hook, Toy Story, Milo & Otis, The Secret of Nimh, The Sandlot, A Goofy Movie, Good Burger… those movies belong to 80s kids. They are not yours to co-opt. When you’re my age, you’ll look back and remember how silly Hannah Montana was - but until you’re my age, back the fuck off my shit.
• The Spice Girls were something that girls of MY generation listened to. Your older sisters might have gotten down to Sporty Spice, but YOU did not.
• Tomagotchi / Gigapets. That was something WE had. You aren’t old enough to remember girls walking around with like 10 of those motherfuckers on ONE keychain.
• AMAZINGLY baggy jeans. My friends and I all had JNCO’s or Lee Pipes. You 80s kids don’t know a damn thing about that.
• Along the lines of baggy jeans… back in the early 90s, we wore overalls. I see you all posting pictures of folks back in the early 90s with all this colorful, neon nonsense, but you forget OVERALLS. That shows you didn’t really live it. You don’t know what the fuck you’re reblogging. I used to wear my overalls over one shoulder, leaving one strap undone. Whatchu know ‘bout that?
• The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You kids watch reruns. I watched the original episodes. You laugh at how silly his clothes are. We actually wore that shit, just so you know.
• I’ve noticed you only try to adopt the cool shit. None of you fuckers are adopting all the “Nu-Metal” that spun out of the 90s. If you’re gonna steal some of it, steal all of it. And while people my age will claim they never liked Korn, Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, etc… of course they did. We all did. I had Limp Bizkit’s shit in my CD player. I had a few Korn albums. C’mon… we all did.
• Remember Magic cards? Y’all need to try stealing that shit. I still know some people that think it’s cool. PLEASE, PLEASE steal Magic. It’s interfering with the sex lives of some old friends of mine.
• I haven’t seen you fuckers one-up us yet on school shootings. Us 80s kids OWN school shootings. It was OUR generation that shot up Columbine, and it was OUR generation that shot up Virginia Tech. Now that you’ve got Call of Duty, you don’t need to actually shoot people I guess…
• LA Gear light-up shoes. That was something 80s kids had. You don’t know shit about it.

I could go on forever… but here’s my point. Seriously… quit stealing OUR shit. You 90s kids have your own culture. It sucks, but at least it’s yours. I know my shit is cooler, but if you steal it, we’re gonna have some problems.

Sincerely,

CaliforniaCornbread - an 80s kid

Here’s what you really had, and still have:

80’s glam rock. Dirty horse shit like Poison. The rise of HIV/AIDS. No self-esteem, since you insist on putting people down on their hobbies, interests, and childhoods. And “we’re gonna have some problems”? Really? What are you, twelve? Who threatens anyone on the internet?

What, is one of your friends a super cool hacker like Matthew Broderick in War Games and he can find out where we live based on our emails and the internet tube we visited you from? You wanna list shit “90’s kids” “stole” from you, but you fail to mention what your generation stole from the “70’s kids”. You’re just as guilty. But you’re more pathetic.

You say you’re an 80’s kid, so this would make you a legal adult, but I only see you act like my ten year old sister when the boy she likes is out of town for the week of Christmas: pouty. Like a spoiled child who doesn’t get the extra slice of pie.

Was gonna respond to this but Brandon said it better.